Fathers are impossible. That is not an exaggeration and it’s not hyperbolic, it’s simply a fact.
Your father will not wear that scarf that you thought went well with the coat that he refuses to stop wearing; your father does not like that microbrew, or any microbrew for that matter, he likes something else; your father will not like those gloves that you looked at and thought would make for sturdy shoveling gear; he will not use that drill bit for some reason; he will not wear that hat under any circumstance; he does not want whatever that doohickey is.
Your father will not like that putter, regardless of your accompanying magazine article included in the card that refers to it as, “The Putting Revolution.” He will not put it in his golf bag. He hates that putter and likes the one he’s been using for the last seven years just fine, thank you very much.
Here’s how you buy your father a gift: think of something he loved once and then kind of forgot about or no longer has time to enjoy. When he was a younger, what did he love? Did he love Corvettes? Did he love sailing? Did he love golden retrievers? Did he love the circus? Did he love aviation? Did he love Tommy James and the Shondells (“Crimson and Clover”)? Did he love stamps that featured Dwight D. Eisenhower?
This isn’t saying buy him a sports car, a boat, a dog, or the rarest-available stamp involving former US President Dwight D. Eisenhower. It’s to say that a gift that acts to remind him of the things he loved when he was younger is thoughtful, and more importantly, thought provoking. Dads like to be reminded of things such as this. Think about that and you will not come up empty-handed.
And then pair it, with THIS REMINGTON SHAVER. Because, in my experience, if fathers love anything, it’s a modern, powerful shaver that can replace the one they’ve been using for seven years.
This shaver will be put in the golf bag.